Tuesday, May 2, 2017

My cup runith over...........

Love yourself first and the rest shall come
I use to think that my happiness was dependent on if the man I was with, if he was happy, I was happy.  I've spent my entire life doing anything and everything for my man.  Everyday was about what I could do for him, what did he want? what did he need?  How could I make him happier?  I have began to wonder if that "OLD" way of thinking was a turn off???  Possibly me changing from the independent person I was when they met me to this woman who was reliant on them to be happy was just not good. 
I mean I am a people pleaser.  It's what I do.  It doesn't bother me at all to do for others, I actually really enjoy it, but does it make me appear weak?  I try not to be mean, I can't hurt intentionally, I want to see someone smile and know in my heart that something I did is the reason for that smile.  If someone I love wants something I will do just about anything to provide it to them.  It's part of my make-up BUT now that I have been spending so much time self-reflecting and trying to self improve me, I have sort of changed how I want to be in any future relationships.
I have a love of life like no other, I am all about fun, I am flexible, I love the gym, I love my friends, I love my family.  In a perfect world any man I "should" be with would want to do these things with me.  Instead of making his life everything, a happy balance between our two lives is ideal. 
I spend hours at the gym every day, I am attending church regularly, spending time with my friends and family and I am having the time of my life.  The people that I have surrounded myself with have been there for me when I needed them, when I needed a push or a kind word or a simple hug.  I have spent 2 years trying to be the person I want to be, the person my friends/family are proud of, the person I am proud of. 

Yesterday a friend I used to play co-ed softball with and I haven't seen in probably 10+ years posted something remarkable on my facebook wall.  I had posted the below photo of my BFF Teri and I at a function Sunday and she commented "I haven't told you, but I'm so very proud of the woman you have become".  I wasn't sure if she was talking about me or my BFF so I asked her.  She responded with the below.  
BFF Teri and I

"Trish Birch here is what I see.... I see a woman who went through some tough times but, didn't let the world keep her down. I see a strong independent woman who doesn't rely on someone else to support her or make her happy. I see a woman who is healthy and happy. I see a woman who loves her family and enjoys life. I see a fighter....If my 7 daughters learned just 1 or 2 of the things I see in you, they would be successful women themselves."  I can literally never express how her words felt to me.  How they made me cry and feel so proud. I was and have become a person to be proud of and that made me extremely happy. 
I know I am doing life right, I know my sons love me and believe I truly hung the moon, I know that I am strong, I treat others with respect and kindness, I know I have so much to offer a man, and I know that one day a man "WORTHY" of me will come along.  Until then I will continue to be me and live my life to the fullest.  I am the best version of me I can be today, tomorrow is a new cup runith over.

Making memories with friends makes me happy

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