Thursday, May 25, 2017

I'm so sorry........

I am a face-booker, anyone who know me knows that.  My entire family is in Oregon with exception to one brother in NC.  Other than my 3 sons and my grandson I have no blood family here.  In 2015 my life did a complete 380, my family was really worried about me, now they want to know I am ok, that I am happy, hence my constant posting. 

I have loved 3 men in my life.  One ended without explanation, the other two were and or are still addicted to drugs/alcohol.  Yesterday one of them went mental all over social media.  Calling me; my family; my deceased mother; his friends; and my children despicable things.  Why? There doesn’t have to be an explanation for an addict to do what they do, they just do.

I couldn’t see his post (we aren’t friends on Facebook) but his and my family notified me what he was saying, sending me screen shots of his unspeakable comments.  As a mother, a sister, a friend, and a person I had to defend, and do my best to reflect his drunken anger on me and off all the innocent people he was targeting for absolutely no reason. 

I’ve been dealing with him and his bad behavior for most of my adult life and so have my children. For those of you who have not dealt with an addict and their outright cruelty I’m so sorry you had to witness this.  For those of you from Gilchrist who had no idea who he has become, for that I am sorry too. 

Troy please tell your mom I am sorry and I send my love.  Donna please don’t take what he said personally, you know you are amazing, you have been the sweetest person since the day I met you in 11th grade.  You have always tried to do anything within your power to help others and you didn’t deserve how you were treated yesterday.  Tell your husband my hats off to him for defending you the way he did. 

For those of you, who took the time to reach out to me till well after midnight and apologize to me for his words, thank you.  To my sons who must be heartbroken by the words their father wrote, I am so sorry.   I wish I could make this better, I wish I could protect you from the harm that was and has been caused for most of your lives.  This is definitely not the way it’s supposed to be.

I have watched the lives of two men I loved destroyed because of drugs and or alcohol.  To those of you who are addicts of any kind, please find the strength within yourself to fight it, get help, and ask for help.  Find that place within regardless how small it is to help yourself, to protect your family, to protect the ones you love, to salvage what you can and be part of the lives you've created.  My kids matter, your kids matter, you matter, we all matter. 

No comments: