Wednesday, May 10, 2017


I have been feeling extremely emotional lately.  Mother's Day is a few days away and it makes me think even more about missing my mom, my dad, and missing my family.  Last year was the first time Mother's Day wasn't sad for me, I was happy in love and spent the day with him and his amazing family.  Mother's day 2016

My family is having a reunion on June 3rd, 2017 and I find the thought of it makes me sob.  I think how much fun it will be, the memories of my family and all the laughter, jokes, rolling eyes, pictures, etc.  My parents had 8 children and we are the most amazing people.  We don't have family drama, we don't fight, we are all so different but the love we have for each other is indescribable.  When we see each other its like not a single day has passed, we pick right up where we left off.  Throughout my life I haven't really been around many families that have this quality. 

The last time I went home was in January 2009.  My mom was dying and I laid by her side for 3 weeks and watched the life leave her body.  Pushing myself forward after losing my beloved mom
The thought of going to Oregon where my life began and not having a Mother or a Father to hug is almost unbearable for me to imagine.  How do you go to a place where every memory is of these two people?  They loved me unconditionally, every decision they made was about us kids, they taught me how to ride a bike, how to drive, how to be the woman I am today, how to love, how to never judge, how to be the best parent I could and how that was my most important job.  How can I call a place home that has no parents? 

Than I think about the fun.  The 50 I had my brother Shawn bought me that I rode till that sucker was on it's last leg.  Every kid from school remembers me on that motorbike.  I would ride that sucker 3 towns away, I'd be gone for 12 hours a day.  Only my greatest of friends got to drive it.  I would scare the hell out of Julie on that thing, flying up and down the hills in my back yard.  She would get so mad at me but I just kept doing it.  How about family taco night?  All of us gathered around and tacos for days.  My dad was the best shell cooker ever.  He made them absolutely perfect.  So many memories, so many happy times, so much laughter. 

I am part of this huge magnificent, truly amazing family who would do anything for me.  I can't imagine my life without them, without knowing that they love me, knowing that all I would ever have to do is pick up the phone.  The next time I go home it will be hard but it will also be amazing.  I have to believe my mom and my dad are both in heaven looking down feeling prouder than ever at the family they  single handedly created and how amazing we are.......My family, My life, The Birch's, today, tomorrow, forever.  Us Birch's 
I pray when my time on earth is over, my kids, my family, my creation, will think of me and feel the way I do about my mom.  I hope they remember everything I tried to teach them, remember my smile, my obnoxiously loud laugh, my love of life and family but I hope more than anything that I am the best mom they could ever want and they are proud of me.  When it's all done, everything I have ever done, every decision I have ever made was for them, I just hope they know.

No comments: