Thursday, December 29, 2011

Christmas vacation

As I sit here during my Christmas vacation and think of the year we've had and the things that have happened this year, I find that I am so sad. Our year has not been a great one and I've been thinking so much about all the disappointments, heartache and pain this year has caused.

Then I blinked and suddenly saw something so clear. I looked around the room and saw my family. All three boys happy and laughing while eating dinner and Mr. Paul too. As a kid I remember thinking all I wanted was a husband that loved me and some kids.

Yes this has not been the best year we've ever had and we've had loss but what I wanted as a kid I have. I decided that although one of this years biggest disappointments is not totally over yet, I have so much to be happy about. Do I allow this disappointment I feel to define me? Have I ever allowed disappointment or loss to define me?

Mr. Paul and I have nearly been married 15 years, my kids are happy and healthy, everything else is irrelevant. Life for me has been hard and full of disappointments as it has been for most but ultimately I have so much more than so many.

Home is where I hang my hat, where my kids laugh, where my husband hugs me and kisses me goodnight. My life is a success and I have accomplished to create a family that I wouldn't trade for anything at all. My family is what defines me and for that I am happy.

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