Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Smoking or not

I think most teens experiment with cigarettes from time to time, as I know I did. Both of my parents were smokers although the only recollection I have of them smoking was when I was a young teen I remember my mother locking herself into the bathroom so she could sneak one.

My next memory of smoking, I was in the back of the car with Andy, his father and a family friend I think her name was Jane. They were in the front seat smoking and the windows were only down slightly. I remember Andy saying how it stunk and how he would never smoke (for the record he does) and I said I probably would.

Long story short the day I got off the plane at technical school in Mississippi the first thing I did was buy a pack. Maybe it was the first time away from home, maybe it was the stress of basic training, maybe that everyone I knew smoked, who knows really, maybe its just in my blood.

So since I was 20 I have been a smoker off and on. I believe the longest I have ever quit was for 2 years. My kids always complain about the smell or dog me about how it will kill me. So the moral of this story? I quit smoking again. The one thing that I have to de-magnify my stress level. I don't miss the dry mouth or the smell on my clothes, but being able to go outside and release my stress I do miss that.

Everyone tells me I should be proud of myself but all I can see is the 12 pounds of weight I have gained. Most of my clothes don't fit, most often to cover that I just leave my pants unzipped and unbutton ed and wear a long shirt. Sad but true.

So I asked my son Trae would you rather have a fat mom or a mom that smokes? He said a fat mom. Although he continued to say that I am not fat and made me feel as if I had made all the right decisions.

So I have been plugging along, swallowing every morsel of food that wasn't nailed to the ground and resisting the urge to smoke and you know what I found out? One of my children smokes. Yeah and what can I say about it? Not a damn thing. Nothing like calling the kettle black if I do. All I can say is I hope that my addiction is not his. It's one day at a time for me and the weight gain although it doesn't help my already small esteem issue, I know one day that will pass too.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Acceptable one fisted snack

Okay help me out here. Logan is in the 5th grade. At his school, lunch is at 1:15 pm. So 2 days ago the school sent home a letter informing parents what was and was not an "acceptable" snack. The letter stated:

Due to the late scheduled lunch time, the students will be able to enjoy a lite healthy snack mid morning to keep up their energy. The following is a list of highly suggested snacks the students may bring in. These are items that can be enjoyed with one hand while working.

Carrot sticks
Apples (if they are cut)
100 Calorie Snacks
Animal Crackers
Cheese Its
Cheese Nips
String Cheese

* Should I send a whole apple and test out the policy?
Absolutely none of the following are allowed:

Potatoes chips
Cheese Curls
fruit cups
fruit roll-ups
Also anything that requires two hands to eat, a spoon or fork, and liquid.

Okay seriously? Thanks for letting our kids have a freaking snack, but could you make this crap any more difficult?? So day one I get out the celery and thought well that's kind of boring so I will cut it short and put some peanut butter in the middle for my dear 5th grader, so he can regain his strength.

You would have thought I cut off someones arm. Logan comes home from school telling me that she made him throw the entire thing away and she sent home a new letter with the word "Nuts" and "Absolutely No" underlined.

Excuse me? No she didn't. So being me, I emailed her and said why not just tell Logan you know buddy, today I will let you slide, but tell your parents that peanut butter has nuts in it and we can't risk it but no she made him ditch it and go without a snack completely. Hello again I say "No she didn't!!!" I explained very politely that I got the whole nut thing, but if my son isn't allergic and they don't share snacks, why couldn't he have at least eaten it that day only?

She emailed back explaining that "NUTS" are deadly even if only being breathed by someone who is allergic.

I'm sorry so if you are allergic to nuts can you go to the grocery store? Holy crap what if your at Costco and they are handing out celery with peanut butter will you collapse right then and there? What if your Christmas shopping in the mall and Ms. Fields cookie store has not only peanut butter cookies, but peanut butter and nuts? Now what??
Don't get me wrong I've watched my share of TV about allergies, but did she really need to be that way over a simple mistake? She sent home another letter just in case we hadn't paid enough attention to the first letter. Okay so I made a mistake, what the hell --does she want me to flip my card or give up recess??
Meanwhile there are 12 year olds having babies, doing drugs, and God knows what else but she's going to spend two days defending peanut butter and air?? I think a jar of JIF for Christmas is in order.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

I wish...........

Have you ever seen the movie "The Breakup"? I've seen it at least 100 times. It's one of those movies that has a lot of really funny parts. After several times of seeing it the funny parts seem fewer and the arguing becomes more than you can bear.
However today it was on and I was tired and not awake yet and so I decided to just watch it. As I watched it I began to realize that there was something I hadn't realized in all the times that I had seen it.

In the beginning when their family and friends left and the fight happened she went into her room and slammed the door. She stood there waiting, then you hear his foot steps start walking towards the room but before he gets there he stops, turns and leaves.

Then she starts having these men come to the house. She actually tells her sister that she needs a hot man to make her boyfriend really jealous. She doesn't want to date any of these men, she isn't the least bit interested in any of them. Her sole purpose is to make Vince Vaughn jealous. Make him want her or realize that he wants her.

Games. He was too stubborn to walk into the room that night and say I"m sorry. She was too stubborn to say I'm sorry. Both of them had too much pride to admit they were wrong. As I watched this movie I've seen so many times before, I realized how truly sad it is. How sad this couple allowed pride and stubbornness to prevent them from admitting an apology. That in the end they lost a love, possibly true love and for what?
So many times when you talk to people you hear them say I wish I had done this, or I wish I had said this and now it's too late. Well I for one hope and pray that I am not ever one of those people that says I wish I had..... I want the people I love to know I love them, I want everyday to count and if I haven't been successful at this to date, I vow to ensure everyday counts for me.