Me

Me

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

New Years resolutions




Okay who the hell thought of creating this list of things we want to change upon the New Years? We've all done it, we've created this list of negatives in our lives that we WANT to change upon New Years day. I want to work out, lose weight, stop yelling, spend time with family and friends, buy a house, stop using credit cards, etc.... the list goes on and on, I've done it, you've done it, we've all done it, but ultimately if we make the change what the hell does it have to do with New Years? If it's important can't we make the change now? I get the whole goal thing, quitting smoking that was a goal, I did it August 15, 2010. Of course thanks to my having self control and motivation to quit something that was ultimately going to kill me, I have created yet another problem. FOOD... OMG the food - if it's not nailed to the floor, or being chewed by another, I'm shoveling it down. Therefore now I have 25 pounds to lose, no clothes that fit and the self esteem of an ant.

You wonder why there hasn't been any family photos? Any new photos of me? Let me spell it out for you, FOOD IS NOT MY FRIEND. Then I wonder is it really that I quit smoking? My friend said that maybe it's that ever since I started this new job that I love so much maybe I'm settled so to speak. I thought you know that could be true, but after careful consideration, I thought what settles but a house. LOL funny a house settles not a body.

So what else could it be? After careful consideration and 41 long years of life, I have noticed that when I am confronted with stress, I eat. So many people like me in the world, I think we are often termed "stress eaters". Last year many of you will remember that my son lost a friend to suicide and the effect it had on my son was well it was horrible. We made it through that, and I actually began to believe the bad times were behind us.

So much for that, how stupid am I really?? Two days ago, Mr. Paul and I were out Christmas shopping and we decided to stop and order the boys some food, when the text comes in. He wants to know if he can go see his girlfriend. That's a pretty innocent text, but I had to request since we were gone that he wait until we arrive home which would be in about 20 minutes so his younger brother would not be home alone.

Holy dog crap you would have thought I literally gnawed off his arm with my teeth. WTH was I thinking to request such a thing. However stupid me for not expecting the wrath of such a response. He didn't respond with anything but an "Alrighty". I thought well okay then wow he isn't mad, cool. Then I came home. For about the first 30 minutes all was normal, but then it happened. Out of no where he tells me that the night before when he asked to go to a friends house, they decided not to go there and he went to the mall instead. I said well the mall closes at 10 you got home at 12 where were you for 2 hours? He said well after the mall we went there. So I said "how come after 2 years of getting into trouble for not telling me where you are, you still don't get it? He looked at me and out it came. You are such a bad parent, you have always favored Trae, my dad knows it, Trae knows it, Paul knows it, everyone knows it. Whatever I do is a no, whatever Trae wants is a yes.

I began to justify. I don't favor one over the other, one is simply a grown adult, with a job, a car, and the same rules don't apply. Then it comes, you are a FAILURE! My dad and I were just talking about this the other day, you shelter me too much. I swear I think my heart stopped, my only thought was don't cry, don't cry, OMG did he just call me a failure??? I thought no he didn't say that, I just thought that's what he said until oooops here he goes with more. When I turn 18 next year, I am out of here, I hate you, I hate looking at you, I hate talking to you, I will never ever speak to you again. I have never cussed on this blog but this calls for a big fat HOLY SHIT. I was shocked, I was hurt, I was emotionally crushed, I walked away. I sat on the couch and I told Mr. Paul, please call Andy and ask him what we should do. I don't know what to do, but I can't take this. His words just kept creeping back into my brain like a hammer, YOU'RE A FAILURE, YOU'RE A FAILURE!!!!!!!!

So there you have it, the words that I never thought I would ever hear. This happened two days ago and he hasn't said a word to me until today. Ready for round two?

Today he tells me that tomorrow at school is a half day and no one is going. I say, you are going. He says well I have to have a book then can you take me to Borders? Why do you need a book today for tomorrow? Can't you write the name of the book down and we'll get it this weekend? If no one is going to school tomorrow why do you need it tomorrow? So I got this perfect thought. I bought Trae the new Steven King book, it's a bunch of several short stories, I will give Coty that book, ask him to take it tomorrow and don't mess it up and then I will buy another one after Christmas and everyone is happy, right? This is the big HELL NO. Of course you give me something that was Trae's, you've always favored him. If Trae wanted to stay home from school you would have let him but because it's me, I have to go to school. So typical, never says anything to me but NO.

Please tell me what did I do wrong? I have been laying in bed all day literally working from my laptop with the heating pad on my stomach from terrible pain. I don't want to go to Borders, I don't want to breath, and I certainly don't want to fight, but of course because I gave him what I had bought as a gift for Trae and I was making him go to school on a half day when no one else is going I am again called a failure. WTF??? If I am the only parent in the county making their kid go to school, wouldn't the school be shut down?

So I wait, I wait for Christmas day to sit in the room while he opens all the things I bought for him out of love and now all I want to do it hit him over the head with them. Some say I should return everything I bought for him and have him sit there while the other two open gifts. I just couldn't do that but at the same time am I rewarding bad behavior? Oh did I forget to tell this one? Last week he asked me to return all his gifts and give him the money so he could buy his girlfriend something super. I said no of course, he went off, he said that it wasn't too much to ask, and if that's what he wanted why couldn't I just do it. I said Okay how about I return all your gifts, take the money and give it to charity in your name? Okay yeah he didn't like that answer either. So now he has gifts, that he supposedly doesn't want and I lay in bed crying over how to fix this child that seems broken.

Is he broken? Does he really just hate me, could it be as simple as that? Is it his 18 and 19 year old friends that run the streets, do what they want, everyday and every night that Coty just longs to be accepted by? is it a combination of all of this? How do I fix it?

So when you ask me what is your New Years resolution, I need to lose weight, I need to exercise, but all I really need is my son to have some peace within and show me some love.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Am I thankful?

Today I arrived at work and as I walked by a gentlemen I work with he said to me “Be thankful”. I sighed in just utter disgust. Thanksgiving is really the beginning of the holiday season, the day to give thanks, the day on facebook every single stinking post is about giving thanks. So annoying am I the only one on the planet who feels grumpy this year?

Don’t get me wrong I am thankful for many random things both big and small. I am thankful for my family, I am thankful for my health, I could literally go on and on regarding things I am thankful for but in reality when I think of thanksgiving I think of an entire day of cooking, an entire day of trying to make sure that all the food is hot at the same time, all the dishes that will need to be washed, football on the TV, and no family to share it with us.

I’ve been noticing lately that my mood is pretty much in the gutter. It appears that everyone around me is suffering the wrath of my anger but I don’t want to talk to anyone, I don’t even really want to text (which you know is bad), I definitely don’t want anyone to visit, I just want to be left alone and thanksgiving is not the time of year where anyone wants to leave anyone else alone. Everyone is cheerful and happy and huggy, even strangers are nice this time of year and then there is me. I want to scream at the top of the tallest mountain, get up off me already!
Anyway I hope this “mood” passes by Christmas but I guess we will have to wait and see. In the meantime I guess I will be the Grinch that stole Thanksgiving.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Jimmy Johnson #48 - NASCAR

My brother Johnnie and his family moved to NC and we went to visit him. Johnnie's son Jeremy races and therefore we met Ron Hornaday, #33- 4 time Craftsman Truck Series champion. My brother and Ron had become friends and so Johnnie introduced us. When we went to watch Jeremy race we met Chad Little who gave me and Mr. Paul garage passes for Martinsville, VA. That's how the horror began.
Our first NASCAR race. Who would have known that would be the start to a life we can't get enough of. That day was not only my first actual race but literally my first experience with NASCAR. I had heard of a few of the "veterans" names like Earnhardt, Earnhardt Jr., Jeff Gordan, Tony Stewart, etc but I was literally of the attitude that I would pretty much rather watch paint dry then watch a bunch of cars go in a circle. B-O-R-E-I-N-G!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had been known to watch a wreck or two on the recaps.
But what happened next was a miracle. They were introducing the drivers so as they did the drivers would come on a golf cart to a roped off area I happened to be standing in. The only thing I had to get autographs on was my Pit Pass so I ripped it off and hoped for the best. Of course since I didn't know who the drivers were or what they looked like, I just looked for a cart with a guy in a driving suit on and hoped for the best. Well I was walking backwards while whatever driver was signing and then I would turn and run back to get the next autograph. When suddenly I turned suddenly and wham! I ran into some guy in a drivers suit who grabbed my sides to steady us both and keep us from slamming onto the pavement. I didn't know who he was or what his name was but the one thing I could tell you was he was HOT! (Did I mention his wife is beautiful - she was there too)

As we got our balance we both smiled and I apologized as he said it was fine. I went to get another autograph and asked one of the other spectators who is that man over there and pointed. They said that is Jimmy Johnson #48 . I remember saying "Well that is my driver".

Jimmy won that race and the next 4 so I told Mr. Paul that I was good luck. See Jimmy touched me and won 5 in a row. LOL Anyway, many people tease me that I joined the bandwagon since Jimmy is well he is the best and has been for 4 years. As you can see by my story that is not the case, my choice was made by looks alone and no knowledge at all, but clearly it was a good one.

Now we have one race to go and Jimmy is 15 points behind the points leader, Denny Hamlin, #11. Homestead Motor Speedway, in Miami FL is a race that for the past 4 years Jimmy has not had to worry about. He went into this race already untouchable. This year that is not the case, he is 15 down and he needs to be ahead of Denny to win his 5Th consecutive Championship. Can he do it? We will know on Sunday. What do I say? Lowe's, lets build something together.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Washingtons National Harbor


Yesterday Mr. Paul said he thought it would be fun to walk around the National Harbor. So we loaded up the car and drove down. We were surprised how many people had that same thought. After parking the car we started out our journey.

We saw the "Awakening" (pictured below). Its this huge sculpture of a man in the sand waking up in the morning. It was located in another place in DC but when they built the harbor they actually moved the sculpture.

We walked in and looked at all the various shops. There was definitely shops that were out of our league. One of my favorite shops was the Artcraft store. The artist Sticks is incredible and it's so cool but out of my league for sure. 3200.00 for a mirror is crazy talk to me but man was it really super cool. I loved the perpetual calendars but at almost 2000.00 for wall decor is well not in my budget.

The Peeps and company store was definitely cool. They sale hot tamales but in various hot levels. We bought the fire ones but they had blazen too. Can you imagine blazen hot tamales?

Overall it was a great day of walking and enjoying the peace of being outside and just relaxing.


Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Smoking or not

I think most teens experiment with cigarettes from time to time, as I know I did. Both of my parents were smokers although the only recollection I have of them smoking was when I was a young teen I remember my mother locking herself into the bathroom so she could sneak one.

My next memory of smoking, I was in the back of the car with Andy, his father and a family friend I think her name was Jane. They were in the front seat smoking and the windows were only down slightly. I remember Andy saying how it stunk and how he would never smoke (for the record he does) and I said I probably would.

Long story short the day I got off the plane at technical school in Mississippi the first thing I did was buy a pack. Maybe it was the first time away from home, maybe it was the stress of basic training, maybe that everyone I knew smoked, who knows really, maybe its just in my blood.

So since I was 20 I have been a smoker off and on. I believe the longest I have ever quit was for 2 years. My kids always complain about the smell or dog me about how it will kill me. So the moral of this story? I quit smoking again. The one thing that I have to de-magnify my stress level. I don't miss the dry mouth or the smell on my clothes, but being able to go outside and release my stress I do miss that.

Everyone tells me I should be proud of myself but all I can see is the 12 pounds of weight I have gained. Most of my clothes don't fit, most often to cover that I just leave my pants unzipped and unbutton ed and wear a long shirt. Sad but true.

So I asked my son Trae would you rather have a fat mom or a mom that smokes? He said a fat mom. Although he continued to say that I am not fat and made me feel as if I had made all the right decisions.

So I have been plugging along, swallowing every morsel of food that wasn't nailed to the ground and resisting the urge to smoke and you know what I found out? One of my children smokes. Yeah and what can I say about it? Not a damn thing. Nothing like calling the kettle black if I do. All I can say is I hope that my addiction is not his. It's one day at a time for me and the weight gain although it doesn't help my already small esteem issue, I know one day that will pass too.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Acceptable one fisted snack

Okay help me out here. Logan is in the 5th grade. At his school, lunch is at 1:15 pm. So 2 days ago the school sent home a letter informing parents what was and was not an "acceptable" snack. The letter stated:

Due to the late scheduled lunch time, the students will be able to enjoy a lite healthy snack mid morning to keep up their energy. The following is a list of highly suggested snacks the students may bring in. These are items that can be enjoyed with one hand while working.

Carrot sticks
Apples (if they are cut)
Celery
Pretzels
100 Calorie Snacks
Animal Crackers
Cheese Its
Cheese Nips
Goldfish
Raisins
String Cheese
Craisins

* Should I send a whole apple and test out the policy?
Absolutely none of the following are allowed:

Chocolate
Nuts
Candy
Potatoes chips
Lunchables
Cheetos
Cheese Curls
pickles
fruit cups
fruit roll-ups
Also anything that requires two hands to eat, a spoon or fork, and liquid.

Okay seriously? Thanks for letting our kids have a freaking snack, but could you make this crap any more difficult?? So day one I get out the celery and thought well that's kind of boring so I will cut it short and put some peanut butter in the middle for my dear 5th grader, so he can regain his strength.

You would have thought I cut off someones arm. Logan comes home from school telling me that she made him throw the entire thing away and she sent home a new letter with the word "Nuts" and "Absolutely No" underlined.

Excuse me? No she didn't. So being me, I emailed her and said why not just tell Logan you know buddy, today I will let you slide, but tell your parents that peanut butter has nuts in it and we can't risk it but no she made him ditch it and go without a snack completely. Hello again I say "No she didn't!!!" I explained very politely that I got the whole nut thing, but if my son isn't allergic and they don't share snacks, why couldn't he have at least eaten it that day only?

She emailed back explaining that "NUTS" are deadly even if only being breathed by someone who is allergic.

I'm sorry so if you are allergic to nuts can you go to the grocery store? Holy crap what if your at Costco and they are handing out celery with peanut butter will you collapse right then and there? What if your Christmas shopping in the mall and Ms. Fields cookie store has not only peanut butter cookies, but peanut butter and nuts? Now what??
Don't get me wrong I've watched my share of TV about allergies, but did she really need to be that way over a simple mistake? She sent home another letter just in case we hadn't paid enough attention to the first letter. Okay so I made a mistake, what the hell --does she want me to flip my card or give up recess??
Meanwhile there are 12 year olds having babies, doing drugs, and God knows what else but she's going to spend two days defending peanut butter and air?? I think a jar of JIF for Christmas is in order.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

I wish...........

Have you ever seen the movie "The Breakup"? I've seen it at least 100 times. It's one of those movies that has a lot of really funny parts. After several times of seeing it the funny parts seem fewer and the arguing becomes more than you can bear.
However today it was on and I was tired and not awake yet and so I decided to just watch it. As I watched it I began to realize that there was something I hadn't realized in all the times that I had seen it.

In the beginning when their family and friends left and the fight happened she went into her room and slammed the door. She stood there waiting, then you hear his foot steps start walking towards the room but before he gets there he stops, turns and leaves.

Then she starts having these men come to the house. She actually tells her sister that she needs a hot man to make her boyfriend really jealous. She doesn't want to date any of these men, she isn't the least bit interested in any of them. Her sole purpose is to make Vince Vaughn jealous. Make him want her or realize that he wants her.


Games. He was too stubborn to walk into the room that night and say I"m sorry. She was too stubborn to say I'm sorry. Both of them had too much pride to admit they were wrong. As I watched this movie I've seen so many times before, I realized how truly sad it is. How sad this couple allowed pride and stubbornness to prevent them from admitting an apology. That in the end they lost a love, possibly true love and for what?
So many times when you talk to people you hear them say I wish I had done this, or I wish I had said this and now it's too late. Well I for one hope and pray that I am not ever one of those people that says I wish I had..... I want the people I love to know I love them, I want everyday to count and if I haven't been successful at this to date, I vow to ensure everyday counts for me.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Change is good

My family and I have made a lot of changes lately. Of course during the process since it was all happening at once it had it's moments. Moments where it seemed like I would burst from stress. Now that its all over change is good.
We moved into a new house. A house that we love and that feels like home.

I started a new job. I love it! I can work from home, I'm off every other Friday, I travel and finally I work in a place that doesn't micromanage. Holy crap it's so awesome to go to work and not feel like you're 2 years old.

I'm attempting again to quit smoking. It's been 4 days smoke free today and already I feel better. I would love it if Mr. Paul would also quit but he doesn't appear to be ready.
Overall, I do believe that the past 2 years have been more of a struggle than not, but like I remind Mr. Paul constantly if you choose to only see the negative, eventually that's all that will be there. We have many things to be thankful for we just have to remind each other when we see the other struggling.

This year I have concentrated on taking each day and making the most of it. I have made sure I put my needs and my families needs first regardless of what others would say. If I didn't want to do something then I didn't. I know these things sound simple but when you are a pleaser like I am you do things you don't want to because you don't want to disappoint others and then you complain about it later. Well for the first time in my life I took care of me first and it felt good.

The changes in my families lives and in my own this year have made me truly happy. I can honestly say there is nothing hidden behind my smile.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Finally some fun!!!!






















We finally got moved, Trae's graduation and his party are over, and I started my new job. Things are beginning to simmer down and I am excited about actually having some fun. I've done some things lately I haven't done in so long.....I've been having fun. So my friend Michelle invited me to Tye dye some shirts. I thought you know what??? What the heck, so I loaded up in the car and off I went to see what kind of damage I could do. I was surprised at how simple and quick it was to do. The boys love them and hey I'm a great mom today for doing it. Those are always great days. My hands are blue but hey it's the price you pay to be mom of the year. Pick up a kit at the local AC Moore or Micheal's for about 23.00 with a coupon about 11.00 and make yourself a 70's child.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Fathers Day - Henry Lee Roy Birch


I could talk for days about my father. I could tell you everything about him, how he dressed, how he smiled, how he felt, how he loved me and the best thing how he smelt. My father worked in a mill and he always smelled of trees, like a wood type smell that is indescribable. It was amazing. I have so many millions of memories of him and although he has been gone for so many years, I have never stopped thinking or loving him. I had the best father ever and I wouldn't change anything about him. I love and miss you ~ RIP: Henry Lee Roy Birch

Friday, June 4, 2010

Graduation

Last week Trae and I were sitting outside discussing how time fly's. I told him I remembered everything. I remember how he would lay on my chest as a baby for hours and the second I ever so carefully went to lay him down alone he would wake up wide eyed and smile. Or how he would watch "Beauty and the Beast" over and over everyday until bedtime. I remember him having the chicken pox at 6 months old and how pitiful he looked but so darn cute. Or the day I was getting ready in the bathroom and he stood on the toilet watching me with his big brown eyes. The phone rang so I left to get it and when I came back he had flushed 4 rings of mine down the toilet to be forever gone. One of which was my wedding set.

Now although those days were so very many years ago, I remember them like they were yesterday. Now it's June 7, 2010, my baby boy is 18 and it's his big day. It was the day of his first of many accomplishments. High school graduation, the day a child longs for everyday for 12 years and the day the will never forget.

It didn't hit me he was actually graduating until about 10 minutes into the ceremony. 489 kids in cap and gowns smiling from ear to ear. I found myself drifting back 20+ years to my own graduation. I did it, was the first thought as I awoke that day. Family and friends visiting to witness this miraculous (for me it was) day with me. My parents how pleased they had to have been knowing I was the last of 8 kids in which they would have to raise. I bet their first thought that morning when they awoke was also "I did it", 8 kids and I'm finally done. I remembered 3 hours after graduation my dad was taking me back to the school to get on the bus with my fellow graduates to head to Disneyland for our Senior trip. (There was a whopping 36 kids in my class). As he backed up he ran into my best friends husbands truck that had literally only been out of the body shop for a few hours.

As I sat there reminiscing about my special day, I found that I began to cry. Wondering what my beloved Trae would do next. College, marriage, military, what? What event would I be witnessing next? What would he do with his life?

Trae as I have said is a man of few words but this night he didn't have to speak. You could read the expression on his face. The night was perfect, and now the rest of his life is ahead of him, and I can't wait to see what he does with it.

Paul and I couldn't be prouder parents of this baby who has grown up to be quiet the man!
Rob and Chris Willis



Trae and Tim

The Proud Family!

The Grad and the Proud Parents

The Proudest mom ever with her Grad!

I think Paul is very PROUD, he's cheesen!

Erin Pronobis and my men

Brothers!

The class (at least the ones I could get in the picture)

Trae after receiving his diploma

Coming down at the beginning

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Battle of the Legends

Trae and Coty went to the Battle of the Legends at the DC Armory with their friend Mason and his Dad, Ken. They met UFC fighter Kenny Florian.

They had a great time and I guess so what kids don't love getting home at 3:00 a.m.????


(Pictured: Mason, Coty, Kenny Florian and Trae. (May15, 2010)

Monday, May 17, 2010

Dover International Speedway

Ron's Truck after the race getting ready to be put in the hauler
Mr. Paul and Ron after the race.
Me and Ron after the race
Mr. Paul and I went to the Dover International Speedway (Home of the Monster Mile) for the Craftsman Truck Series NASCAR race, May 14, 2010. It was a total blast. As with any trip we got a late start but didn't realize Dover was so close, less than 2 hours. We arrived about 10:00 am and got our Pit passes for the race that Ron Hornaday made arrangements for us to pick up.

My brother Johnny is good friends with Ron and he said any race we wanted to attend just to let him know in advance and he would ensure we had tickets in the pits. Being in the pits is super cool not only do you get to see Ron prior and after the race but you can walk through all the drivers hauler areas and see them, get autographs, look at their vehicles, and walk along the pits before the race and see the practices and qualifying of not only the truck race but the Nationwide and Cup series cars and drivers.

During the race you are within 10 feet of the pit and can watch the pit crew go to work. The racetrack is so close that you feel like your ears might possibly explode. It's so loud and so intense, really the greatest fun ever. My goal was to meet Jimmy Johnson and get a picture of him signing my mini #48 car and of course one with me too. Mr. Paul wanted to meet Ricky Carmichael, driver of the #4 Monster sponsored truck. Mr. Paul got his wish. We walked right up to him at his hauler and got an autograph and our photo with him. I did not. I saw Jimmy Johnson while he was being surrounded on pit road by the media. Walking to his car for qualifying. I got some decent photos of him but it's not the same as actually meeting him. I am hoping this weekend at Charlotte Motor Speedway in NC. Once again Ron got us tickets so I will have yet another blog entry for that.
There he is my man Jimmy Johnson by his car and crew. (Drooling)









Me, Ricky Carmichael and Mr. Paul prior to the race

It was a great day, just Mr. Paul and I. No kids, no drama, no problems, no work, nothing, just Mr. Paul and I relaxing watching the race enjoying each other's company. It was a perfect day.




Jimmy driving by after qualifying--you didn't think I'd miss it did you????
Mr. Paul and I in front of the giant Monster Mile Monument


Oh and for Mr. Paul, the day wouldn't have been complete without his photo with Ms. Sprint Cup. Oh brother.........LOL






Saturday, May 8, 2010

Prom 2010

Trae and his girlfriend, Brook decided at the last moment to go to the Prom. I found out when Brook came in from a day of shopping to show me her prom dress. I am really glad they decided to go since Trae has never been and usually doesn't attend things of this nature. It was much easier for me to have Trae ready than it was for Kim, Brook's mom. Girls have a lot more to do to prepare for such a night. They both looked great and so the next time I see Trae in a tux will probably be his wedding day.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Turning the page

It's been a couple of busy days. Yesterday about 2:00 pm I'm at work and the school nurse calls me to tell me that Coty fell playing basketball and she couldn't rule out if his arm might be broken. Paul picked him up while I left work and drove to the hospital where I met them. After waiting as usual it was determined that he has a hairline fracture. They put his arm in a sling and sent us on our way.

We left there only to be home about 30 minutes and run right back out the door for his final "drug class" which was a mandatory ruling on his unofficial probation. 9 weeks of mandatory drug class, for having a joint at the homecoming dance last fall. Coty has completed all the necessary rulings put forth to him by his intake officer he can finish out the current school year where he is and then return to the correct school in the fall with no criminal record.


Today me, Mr. Paul, Trae, Brook (his girlfriend), Eddie (another witness friend of Trae's), and Kim, Brook's mom had to arrive to court for Trae's 2nd degree assault charges filed against him last October. Initially everyone we know, sheriffs, security involved, Judge friends, everyone said Trae would be fine. Never been in trouble before, no record, good kid, basically model citizen, he would be fine so we opted to just use the Public Defender instead of hiring a Lawyer. With Mr. Paul not working it would have put a huge financial strain on our family.

When we arrived to court we sat near the front where Brook and her mom had already sat. There was a line of folks standing in the middle that had to check in. I had never seen Michael the bully before but I happened to look up and this 30 year old guy is standing in line looking right at me with this huge smirk on his face. I turned to Trae and asked if that was him, and he said yes. I looked again at Michael who stood in the line literally 3 feet away from us and he still was staring at me smiling. I swear I wanted to gouge out his eyes.

The first guy called was 22 years old, also clean record. He had apparently had spray painted a couple of buildings in the local community with some type of symbol or whatever. He had lost a great job because of it. He was a high school drop out who quit school his senior year. His lawyer was trying to say that without an education or degree he was lucky to have landed such a job. Then he got another somewhat decent job in which he was laid off recently from. When the Judge was done talking the officer in court walked up the guy and handcuffed him right then and there and off he was going to serve his jail time. At this point I began to freak. I started crying and found myself angry with Mr. Paul for not hiring an attorney like I had requested. My heart was racing, my hands shaking and the tears wouldn't stop falling.

Then I hear them call Trae's name. OMG he's going to jail, I just knew it. I began to panic. Trae stood in the front on the left of the courtroom next to his public defender. The State's attorney began reading the charge and statement provided by Michael. Then she turned and asked Michael who was sitting in the last row of the courtroom (where bully's always sit) if he wished to address the court. Of course he said yes, and walked to the front. He spoke how he politely asked Trae to pull his pants up and Trae was rude, disrespectful and spoke vulgarities to him for no reason. He said that he was having to get surgery on his jaw. That's when I about exploded. WHAT? How stupid do you really think this court is??

Then Trae's attorney began to say what really happened. The Judge asked Trae if he wanted to talk. I had already informed Trae he was to address the court regardless of whether he wanted too or not. He better say something. So he did, then they called up Mr. Paul. Mr. Paul talked about Trae, his involvement in baseball, his attitude and how this was out of the box for Trae. Mr. Paul really spoke highly of Trae as anyone would their child but he also mentioned that he could really call anyone that knew Trae and they would tell the court the same thing. Trae has always been for the most part a model kid.

I sat in anticipation, scared to death. My son was facing a Judge who had made it perfectly clear he was not playing around. He gave Trae a PBJ (Probation before Judgement) for 2 years. Meaning that if he doesn't have any further issues with the law in 2 years he can have this expunged from his record, a fine totalling 160.00 due today, and either 40 hours of community service (which costs 150.00) or 2 days in jail. I watched as Trae and his attorney whispered wondering what he would decide. She speaks up he will take 2 days in jail but requested it be during the weekend due to him being in school. OMG my son is going to jail????????

Then the Judge says Trae you will serve the weekend of May 8th in the Charles County Detention Services. I panicked OMG prom. Since we were in the front row, I began whispering Trae's name, he finally turned around and I mouthed the word "Prom". He whispered to his attorney and she asked the judge to do this coming weekend since that particular weekend was the prom. I thought no worries here. Then the Judge says, this isn't a hotel Trae, you socked a guy in the jaw. Oh great just the attention Michael was seeking. However the Judge did agree to this coming weekend. Friday I get to drop my son off in jail and pick him up on Sunday.

The bottom line to my last two days is that two very stressful issues that have been hovering over my family's heads since fall of 2009 are finally over. We can now turn the page to these disasters that have held my family captive for over 6 months now.