Tuesday, May 5, 2009

weight gain weight loss.......

In January I went home and saw all my family and I am sure that no on had ever seen me as heavy as I was then. Comments were made but nothing bad, just general comments. I was already feeling like a moose before I went and was determined to lose weight when I got back. Which is what I have been doing. I have lost 31 pounds since my family saw me. This first two pictures were taken in my mom's front yard. Biggie Auntie!

So now me and my 3 sisters are all trying to lose weight. I think we are all fighting this whole weight thing and for that I would like to say at least I am not going through this alone! Which parent gave us this weight problem? Must have been mom dad was like skinny as a wind chime. Thanks mom! Like most women trying to lose weight, I lose one day gain the next and go through every day worrying about what I eat, how much, how many calories, how much fat? Why do women care so much about what we look like? Do we lose weight for ourselves, our spouses, our kids, who?

For me I was never obese but larger than I wanted to be. I felt like all the cute clothes were made for skinny people. All the clothes in my closet were to small and I had nothing that fit me. Can't afford new ones so what was my choice?

I refuse to diet, my decision was to take phentermine from my doctor and change my eating habits. I have cut out all caffeine (except my very large coffee every morning) yes can you believe it? No soda except diet Dr. pepper and Fresca. I thought it would kill me, you're talking about a person who drank close to a 12 pack of mountain dew a day. So I eat a nutri-gran bar in the morning, yogurt for lunch and a small portion of dinner whatever we are eating as a family. I refuse to eat a special dinner and cook the boys and Mr. Paul something different. That of course is based on the thought that I do actually cook.

Anyway I have lost 31 pounds and I have about 10 left so more to come. By the way, I can't be sure exactly why I am losing weight. Spouse? Of course I care what he thinks and I want him to always be attracted to me. Me? Of course I feel better skinnier and I had so many clothes going to waste. Kids? Of course I never want them to ever be embarrassed by me. Which reason out weights the others? I would have to say me, although all of the above are important, how I feel about myself is ultimately more important. You know they say you can't love anyone unless you love yourself first. So I am going to love myself first and that will give me more love for the men in my life.


Janna said...

Chickie you always look great! I'm here for you which means I'm trying to lose those Good N Plenty's & Hot Tamales.

Love you...JV

Jaimey said...

you look great! Someday I want that stuff. Kinda useless until I am done or close to done having babies... :)

Good job!