Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Inspiration? Strength? Courage?

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OK, for those of you who know me I am usually a pretty hysterical person. I love to make others laugh. With that said, several of my family members are finding they are so sad and so out of sorts, how does a person get their life back? How does another? How do I help others when I too am in a state of slumber?

One sibling of mine, well she is a controller. She plans and organizes every aspect of her day. Another a clown. She is similar to me in so many ways. The others of us go to her for strength, courage, and advice. One brother is very sensitive and I find myself wondering how he is holding up but don't currently possess the strength to find out. How do I help? Lets not even talk about our nephews and nieces who share this loss. What about them? Just now having kids of their own and yet no grandparents to cuddle, and annoy their kids.

Counseling? never ending emails? Phone conversations? What? How the heck can I help any of them? Help myself? I will help myself by writing my thoughts and feelings. No one has to read it, everyone can read it, regardless I am helping myself, and maybe you. Documenting my good and bad days. How I'm coping and even how I am not.

Are we all struggling so much because she is the mom and there really is nothing like a Mom? Is it because when my father died we still had her to comfort us? Is it because without parents who becomes the center of our gravity?

What gets me up everyday? Knowing that someday I hope to see them again. That neither of them are suffering. That they raised me to be strong and remember the good. Remembering that regardless how bad life is on a particular day it could always always be so much worse. Remembering that they lived their lives to the fullest and now it's my turn your turn. Our turn to change a life, raise lives, and do the best we can and hope that when our shell is gone the mold we leave lives on.

So to you controller, you the clown and everyone else live your life with no regrets. Stand up (after you finish reading my blog of course) and say I am the engine that could, I am strong I will persevere, I will prosper, I will be the best I can be. Raise our kids to love as ours taught us, love your spouse like there is no tomorrow. Most importantly find God, trust him, know him, and have faith in him!

Show me and the world that you are a Birch through and through!

Do What Makes You Happy
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Anonymous said...

I am NOT a controller! I do,however, plan my weekends :O) Whatever!!!

Anonymous said...

Yes, I'm the controller (Janna) and the clown is Sue! Being the oldest is a hard job but at least I'm a kid at heart :O)