Thursday, April 30, 2009

You tell me

What's worse?? The sick upset feeling you get when someone you love tells you something they have been doing something to hurt you knowing they were hurting you, over and over and over again? Or the pain you feel for believing they actually loved you?

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

A Man's Job....

Holy Crap!!! So last night I decided I would start getting the neighbors bush's out of our fence and yard. What the heck was I thinking???? I started with a weed eater. Not smart. Hey it was my first thought what can I say? So after about 2 minutes the stupid string was inside the compartment and wouldn't come out. I was yelling for Paul who like most men have selective hearing just like my kids. Eventually after the next town heard me calling his name he came out and told me to bang it on the ground and the string would come out. Ok... so now I am slamming that stupid thing on the ground and I still can't see lime green string. What's the problem here? Am I stupid? (Don't answer that) I was banging that dang thing so hard on the ground I can't believe it didn't snap in two. Needless to say I gave up between a broken weed eater, pollen and 80 something freaking degrees I was all but done.So today is a new day. I got wiser and decided I would ask Paul kindly to get me the neighbors hedge trimmer thing. When I got home I was ready to attempt these bush's again. Paul offered for me to just chill and relax tonight, watch American Idol and he would do it tomorrow. Isn't that sweet?? Yeah but what you don't know is that it's supposed to rain for the next two days so those darn bush's would be there next year if I didn't do it. So even though I should have taken him up on that offer, I set out with the hedge trimmer....I'm going for it reluctantly deciding to go for it. HOLY CRAP - put a needle in my eye, those suckers were thick, and the stupid little buggers were twisted in and around and through the fence. Every inch was covered with bush's from the neighbor's yard. Good Lord can you imagine what the other side of my fence looks like? I just knew a snake was coming out at some point and for the record if I had saw a snake that would have been the final straw that would have gotten Paul doing these little buggers. I was determined to show the world or at least the kids playing in my yard that they had at least three feet of yard left they could now see and use.

Ok so now its done and I honestly don't know how I am typing I can't feel my arms at all, and lets not forget about all the blisters on my fingers. My arms feel like jello and I swear I might need a sick day at work tomorrow for lack of being able to hold the steering wheel while I drive in. God help all those on the road with me if/when I hit a bump, cause I will lose control of my vehicle for sure. Isn't that pathetic, I can't feel anything but this sharp pain bolting up my arms. I think those muscles I used are my forearm whatever they are punishing me for never using them for 39 years and now trying to rip them in one workout. Lord have mercy what the heck was I thinking???

Yard work is a man's job-PERIOD!! No ifs ands or buts it's a man's job and I literally hate my arms right now and this determination thing that made me do it. Tomorrow I will whine and feel the wrath of those dang bush's. I have to say that I did complete the job and I want you all to know I didn't break a single nail. You know I started this blog because I was living no life and laying on the couch in my pj's watching mindless TV and so now I feel like I have to do stuff so I can write about it. Those bush's make me really miss my couch and pj's but ultimately I have to say I feel great! (with exception again to my poor forearms, good Lord give me strength).

Oh and let me tell you that I guess I shouldn't have used the weed whacker on bush's because Paul ended up having to take the thing apart to get the string out of the inside compartment. Apparently there is a reason that tools have "purposes". Weed whacker's actually work very well on weeds and not so good on bush's. My bad!

(If you click on the photo below it will get big so you can get a good idea of how big of a job this was. Also you will know how many bush's Paul has to pick up tomorrow, cause see I am not picking them up too!!)
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Victim of gossip......

I know we have all talked about a co-worker from time to time at work before. Usually when people talk it's about your clothes, or your hair, maybe someway you acted, or something that's generally harmless.

However I was recently a victim of gossip. God I was so hurt and so shocked and so surprised that someone would actually gossip about me in the workplace about something that was in my opinion so harmful. I won't go into detail about the play by play details, but I believe this started about a month ago when there was a misunderstanding between me and two of my friends.

Then last week one of the friends involved in the previous situation went behind my back and requested something that he had no business getting and then found something on there that wasn't clear to him and he took it to someone else who then took it to someone else and then one more person. So in total he got this info he didn't/shouldn't have had and showed it to 4 other people.

When I was told what happened my initial reaction was that I wondered about this person's motive. I knew I hadn't done anything wrong so that didn't even cross my mind and the fact that 5 people saw something that they didn't need to see was not okay but wasn't a cause for concern for me. What my concern was that it was appearing that this person was trying to destroy my character/integrity.

For those of you who know me you know that Integrity is #1 for me always!!!! So I found out who it was and although I was shocked and hurt I stewed about it for 3 days. Then I approached him and told him that I knew what he had done and that even if he hated me he "knew" me and he knew I was not someone who would ever take advantage of anyone purposely. He felt terrible and he apologized to me for what he had done. He said he wished he would have come to me as I had come to him.

So what did I learn? We all know we can't trust everyone but see it's not like that. This person was my "friend" and I thought he knew me, my character, my morals, me.

After talking to him I realized that who knows why I did the right thing and just approached him calmly and told him how I felt. I didn't blame, I didn't point a finger or say anything that would cause him to be defensive. I simply told him how I felt and how it hurt me.
The result? It was productive, taken care of without further any further damage. There are no hard feelings and I think he will think before he acts next time. It's important to know your limits and know when it's right for you to approach the situation head on in a productive non-threatening manner. If you approach the other person in a threatening manner you immediately cause the other individual to put up their defense mechanisms and the result will not be productive. As with anything it's all about your approach and delivery. Hard lesson to learn if you have never been on the receiving end of untrue gossip.
Note to self, the next time you are laughing with another at the expense of someone else, consider how you would feel if it was others laughing about you. If you say anything think about it before you say anything and ask yourself if someone said it about you would you be hurt?

Monday, April 27, 2009

My Dreaded Kitchen project

Arg! So my kitchen needs to be painted. The good thing is I hardly have any wall space, because although my kitchen is big, I have a lot of cabinets so the actual painting won't take me long. I also hate to put holes in the wall so there are no real holes to seal either.

It's the prep work that is going to take me forever, taping, and tearing down border. I HATE border and worse than border I hate wallpaper. I tore down a strip of border in my kitchen to see how it would look, of course I like it better but I left myself no option but to paint since I can't find the border anywhere so I could just replace the piece I tore down (Of course that is the lazy way out). So now I have to tear down all the border and that will take me all week I'm sure. Case and point why I hate border and wallpaper. So that is what I will be working on this week, getting the border down and taping the ceiling and doors and everywhere else I can't get paint. I tend to get paint pretty much everywhere when I attempt to do this. Paul hates to paint and it is actually one of the things he literally refuses to do.
It's so blessed hot outside that it is a good thing to do in the house, and is actually one of the many things I really should have done over the winter months. Live and learn. Now I pay but my next project is the yard and God knows it needs a lot of TLC but by the time I get home from work it's still hot and on weekends so far I have been stuck working the concession stand for Little League.
If anyone has a good remedy for making removing of border/wallpaper easier please leave a comment. I usually use water and fabric softener mixed in a water bottle with a pampered chef scrapper which tends to work pretty good but is still a pain.
I will just edit this blog as I make progress on this dreaded kitchen project. LOLPosted by Picasa

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Difficult People

Do you deal with difficult people or a difficult person? I think we all have at one point or another. I can say I have been somewhat successful finding a way to not only get along with some difficult people but actually we get along good and work well together. This is not something I was always good at, not so long ago I would have just gotten even or whatever but certainly wouldn't have taken time to work it out.

Its so hard to handle it and not react, I think it's human nature to defend or react to what appears to be violent behavior. Especially for me. I really want to be a bigger person, I want to be the model employee, I want to be the employee that they can count on. How do I do that when all I really want to do is scream?There are people that literally make everyone around them miserable, they are so miserable it almost seems like they stay up at night thinking of ways to upset others. They are rude, mean and literally have no common courtesy for others. Sometimes there seems to be no rime or reason as to who they are targeting.

I believe people like that thrive on making others miserable so to react is feeding the fuel and gives them a since of satisfaction. Most people would not find this type of behavior satisfactory or even fun, but then there are those like this that this behavior is so normal you have to wonder if they realize how miserable they really are. People don't want to be disliked, it's not human nature but do people like this even realize that it's not the people around them that are the problem it's them?

I can say that if I have to say the Lords Prayer or the Hail Mary for 2 hours to prevent me from reacting than that is what I shall do. My friend and confidante always says there is no way to heaven but Love. If you can't love here on earth you WILL NOT receive the key to heaven. She also tells me that she says "Jesus I believe in you". Such an easy thing to remember when your blood is boiling over. I say it over and over and over again. I will survive and I will remain strong but I will also pray for them. Pray that one day they will find Jesus and she will realize the error of their ways and become a servant of the Lord. On that day where ever these people are I know their will be a lot of very happy people around them. The day when these people who have been haunted by the devils spirit are no longer haunted but blessed and begins to climb the stairs to heaven.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Self Reflection & Compassion

Today was Andy's first day in treatment and I have to say it's bitter sweet. I'm happy that he's there and I know that it's what he has to do to live, but I feel so sad that his life is in this horrible place. Like I said yesterday I understand he did it to himself, but I feel so bad. I wonder to myself why he is so unhappy? Why is his life so horrible? What was it that caused him to make such horrible decisions? How does someone with so much potential turn to this? Get so broken?

You know I have spent hours talking to Andy on the phone in the past 3 months and when I reflect on our conversations I see a man ashamed of everything. A man screaming out for help but I'm sure that he thought no one heard him. Well he was wrong, I heard him and his parents heard him. That I can promise you.
If you read yesterday you know that until recently Andy was not my favorite person in the world to say the least, and his parents had their own heartache with him I'm sure, but again, if we had closed our hearts and minds to him, who would have heard his cry for help?

When Jesus says in the bible the only way to God is through me. He meant it. If Jesus came to you and asked for help only an idiot wouldn't help the son of God, so when someone, anyone asks you for help if you find you don't want to help them, stop for one minute and ask yourself if that were Jesus would I help him/her? If your response is yes and I'm pretty sure it would be, then you know what to do.

"Compassion is sometimes the fatal capacity for feeling what it is like to live inside somebody else's skin. It is the knowledge that there can never really be any peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy finally for you too."

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

A cry for help

So my ex husband Andy is an alcoholic. He has spent years drinking his life away, drinking his problems away and now he is very sick. Fact is he is my boys father!

You know for years we couldn't have a 5 minute conversation without fighting. We divorced in 1996 and have never communicated well together until this year. I was so angry for the choices he made and the pain he had caused my two wonderful boys. He had gone over 3 years without having any communication with them, and I was very angry.

When he called the end of January and asked for me I took a moment to pray for patience and strength. I know God helped me and I got through the call. Within a week of conversations he began to open up to me about the severity of his condition. I felt so helpless and sad but tried to think of ways to help him. He was laid off from his job as many people today are and had no savings or insurance. I emailed my sister Liz and asked her to google treatment centers where he lives and send me some numbers. I called and found a facility that would take him. Paul made calls to find out about his unemployment, and together we would call Andy and do whatever we could to help him.

Then as we talked we started wrapping up one issue after another. Who would pay his rent while he was gone, who would watch is cat "Gary", etc. It seemed like things were progressing. Then he called his parents whom he hasn't had much of a relationship with either through the years. They spoke and then a few days later they took him to lunch and I can't tell you what that meant to him.

His father said something to me when I called there I will never forget. He said my hats off to you Trish, God was speaking through you to him and he heard you, for whatever reason he is listening to you and we are so grateful. WOW! What do you say to that? Andy would call me at 6:00 am when I was driving to work, text me while I was working, and call later each night. It was hard but I kept thinking about his dad's words to me and wanted to make sure I was available for him regardless. How could I turn my back on the man who fathered my kids, and needed my help? I couldn't I had to try to make sure he knew he could count on me. I didn't know why me and that wasn't important. All I knew was whatever I was saying was helping him and for my kids sake it was the least I could do.

See for you and I, we don't understand how someone can let drinking take over literally every aspect of their lives. But for Andy it's his life. It's what he knows, it's his comfort zone. I prefer laying on the couch with a blanket but for him a 12 pack of beer. Obviously he has lost more than his health, every relationship he's ever been in, his family, his kids, his job, his licence, everything. He sits alone in his apartment watching mindless TV and drinks. Again I know what your thinking...he choose it. Yeah I know I get it, I thought that too at first, but who are we to judge. He knows he has wronged people and we all know you can't change the past only the future.

See he wasn't always like this. He was student body president, played on the football team and was very popular. We married at 20 had a son at 21 and another at 24. We grew apart and we were different people but he was still Andy then. Where did it change for him? I don't know, neither does he. But it changed.

For me three years ago I wouldn't have spoken to him long enough to get involved, but God found me and I have realized that people need our help. When, where, who we don't know that's why it's so important that we always have an open mind and an open heart. It's easy to pray for the people we love, but it takes extra effort to pray for someone that has caused us pain, and isn't easy to love. But I believe those are the ones we really should be praying for.

Andy is getting ready to go to treatment and he is nervous and scared and I'm sure he feels alone, so the point of this blog is if you are reading this I'm asking for your prayers for him, for his recovery, and for his family. We all make decisions in life that others don't agree with or understand but try to remember that time in your life when someone acted hastily or turned their back on you when you needed them and make a difference now by not turning your back on him. It doesn't matter if you know him or not what matters is that you can open your prayers out to someone who needs a prayer. Thank you.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

I love crafts...

I love crafts. I do try to make some crafts, but I do love to buy them. I love filling my house with them, there is always room for more and more crafts. People come in my house and say "oh you like country". Lets be clear here country to me is the old home interiors stuff with the country blue border and pictures of ducks on it.

My decorating style is called "Primitive". It's the stuff you see in a store that looks old and distressed but is new. My favorite craft store is King Kreations. It's 47 miles away from my house, but so worth the drive. The owners are Kevin and Denise King. She creates the coolest things in her basement. Their home next door to the shop is the coolest house ever. It's the type house you see and always want to just knock and go in and look at all the amazing things. If you want to visit this wonderful shop click on their name above and browse their site. Nothing is as wonderful as the real life experience of going to their shop. If you're near check it out, it's a wonderful experience.

I haven't been there since my sisters visited in October. I went Sunday and I could have bought the entire store. I just love it there. Having my nails done, getting my hair cut and going to the craft store sure made for a perfect weekend. What can I say I'm easy to please.

If any one reading this knows of any cool craft fairs/shops in the Maryland area please let me know, I'm always open to try out new places, of course King Kreations will always have my business. Or if you know any websites that sale primitive decorations drop me a line. Here's some of the things I've bought....

This shelf was made by Kevin. I measured my windows, picked the stain and he made it. I ordered the curtains from them as well. It's a great way to hang your curtains, and store some of your collectibles.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Opening Day

Having three boys we have been to our share of sporting events. All of which have dabbled in wrestling, basketball, cub scouts, football and baseball. For the past several years baseball seems to be the sport of choice. Paul and I decided we would attempt to be voted in as board member for the local county league. Waldorf little league. Today was opening day.

We headed off to the fields at 9:15 this morning. I think the whole town was there. When we arrived to the fields eventually found a place to rest the car, we entered into the concessions stand. None of us knew we would not walk out of there till after 5:00 p.m.. Yes that's right 7 hours later. We went hours literally without seeing the end of that line.

At one point I saw the mascot (Pinch) for the local semi-pro team the "Southern Maryland Blue Crabs". Oh how everyone loves Pinch. Heres his photo, with my man Paul and Donny Humphrey.

And another one with Pinch with several different kids of course all the way on the right hiding in the brown shirt is my son Logan trying to pretend he's shy. (get real!!)

Well we had a good time, beautiful day, and Coty's team won! We spent the day at the fields but that is pretty much a day in the life for us. Baseball is our family sport. We love it and the families out there are part of our extended family.

Only took 9 years

My youngest son, Logan loves to sleep in our bed. I finally had to put my foot down, he is almost as tall as me and he snores. So he snores, kicks and ends up I get zero sleep and have to get up at 4:45 am so that had to stop. So now I have a child who thinks he needs to sleep on the couch in the main living room. So that annoys me for some reason. Why can't he just sleep in his bed? Why? Why does he have to sleep anywhere but the bed in his room? Any advice on this would be appreciated. He says that every bed he has isn't comfortable. This is about his 5th bed and he is 9. I don't believe it's the bed, I think he doesn't like to feel alone. Who knows?

Thursday I didn't feel like going to bed and since I was off Friday I didn't want him on the couch. He was mad. He complained and threw a fit but once he got in there he was out in less than 5 minutes. It was a blessed night. Amazing how such a small thing is so wonderful to me.

Maybe I should say he only slept there one night but I hope it continue.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Virage Salon - The best place ever!!!

Virage Salon is the best place ever to get your hair done. WHY? One word for you... FADI!!! The owner of the shop. The salon is not just a place to get your hair done. It's a place that makes you feel like you are the most beautiful woman in the world. Whenever I am feeling blue, Paul knows the key. He makes me an appointment with Fadi. If you're ready to find that hairdresser the one you have been looking for your entire life "Virage Salon" is the place to go and Fadi is your man. (Actually he's mine, but I don't mind sharen)
Ready? Here we go...... Here I am at the salon getting ready to change. Before Fadi works magic. Ok now I've got the highlights in and of course Fadi tortures me by making me sit under this God Blessed dryer. I HATE THE DRYER, I always complain about it. Horrible thing!

So finally it's done - no more dryer. Now Mike's shampooing my hair. OOOH he massages the scalp - feels like heaven. Now the cut, can't wait to see what he does.

Ok, he's done, before you leave you have to pay and if your special you tip Fadi by placing the money in his pocket. So whether you need to treat yourself or need to give that special someone the perfect gift, Virage Salon is the place to go. (If you need the details of Fadi's shop click on the words in blue above "Virage Salon" and I will link you to his website). Tell him Trish sent ya. Okay here is the after pictures, sorry camera phone....

Thursday, April 16, 2009


If it's not enough your 17 year old son rear ends another car with his 14 year old brother in the car on their way to school. As the story goes in my life one bad thing means several more to come. The nightmare began around the second week of December 2008 when I drove this wrecked car to the shop. Getting what looked like a fixed car home FINALLY on April 9, 2009. Really? Are you kidding me it took over 3 months to get a little body work done????? (Lets not go there we will save that for another day).

When I drove the car to the shop in December I remember feeling a little fortunate (being the nieve person I am) that the damage appeared to be only body work not mechanical. No dummie lights on has to be good news right? When I started the car to drive it home to my son who has anxiously awaited the arrival of his "new" car why were 4 dummie lights on? Good Grief! Since I had to get gas (tank was beyond empty to boot) the car died. Luckily although it barly would go it did start up again and I arrived home safely. I mean really it hadn't been driven in over 3 months (or should I say I guess it wasn't driven but under the circumstances - I won't assume anything). It's probably just sat to long, or maybe when the wrecked hood was removed maybe it sat outside and water got in it (although I was clear didn't want it sitting outside), I figured it just needed to "shall I say warm up" for a day or so.

Everytime Trae goes anywhere the car dies at least 3 times (and that's usually before he even leaves the driveway)? Huh?? Today after a long day at work I arrived home finally. Trae ran his friend into town to pick up his pay check. About an hour later I get the dreaded car. "Mom it won't start." (Mind you brand new battery and alternator) So Paul and I head up to save the day. Well actually I called a friend who called AAA and had a tow truck guy help us. Thanks girl!!

An hour later here he comes with a jumper cable box. Car starts right up, only problem......every dummy light is now lit up, for a second I thought it was the 4th of July. Just as I feel satisfied that this nightmare is over I buckle up. The tow truck guy leaves and I begin to back up. As I place the car in Drive guess what happens?? Yes Sir E - the blessed thing dies and will not start.

Issue #1 = dead car and I'm in it, Issue #2 = Here comes a family leaving the restaurant I am at, full and ready to drive home. To no surprise I am stalled right behind them. (Of course 50 cars in the freggin parking lot and I am stalled directly behind the one car that belongs to the only people leaving the restaurant). They are not going anywhere at least until I do. What to do now...Stalled car, no cables, no tow guy, no mechanic. hmm hey mister you have cables? WOW a person who is actually willing to help another human who is obviously in need and he has cables too. How Lucky am I? Issue #3 = how does he get his SUV out so he can jump me? He inches out and actually maneuvered his vehicle out of the space and into position to jump me. He jumps the car I somehow am able to keep it running long enough to get home and without any further damage. Well if your reading this stay tuned, one day after my blood stops boiling I will tell the story why it took over 3 months to get the car back. And as I mentioned before nothing is ever simple for us so I am curious what is in store for us next.....

Uncle Trish??

In Oregon I had the pleasure to really get to know my nephews and nieces. In total I think at last count there were 17. (Not to mention some of them have kids of their own too so the numbers are steady increasing) Anyway, obviously since I left Oregon 20 years ago these young adults "kids" were just babies when I knew them before.

It started over text messages with Christopher whom I am forever texting way to early in the morning (sorry man) forgetting the time change. He is my little buddy. He and Jake my other nephew (pictured below) decided after looking at this log frame thing at my mom's house that I looked like a boy so they started calling me "Uncle Trish". Now tell me that isn't a load of crap. Stinking brats! LOL

These "kids" are so wonderful and each so special in their own way. They may or may not realize that the responsiblity to keep the family together and close now rests with them. My siblings and I are all very close and although space and time separate us when we are together it's like time stood still. We have this very unusual bond that "outsiders" immediately pick up on. Now it's there turn. They all must remember that although they are all so different they are all family and regardless of harsh words, broken promises, or bad decisions, they must learn to forgive and move on. Keep in contact, mak an effort when you really don't want to is what it takes to keep a family together and strong. Being the bigger person is always hard but always necessary. In the end you can count on Family!!
Happy is he who accepts what he cannot change

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Are you Judgemental Cont...

So you've decided that you're not judgemental? Lets take a test. Look at the photo below and think about what crosses your mind while you look at her. Is she pretty, is she stylish, what do you notice about her? What type person do you think she is, just by looking at the photo? Do you think she watches Leave it to Beaver or NASCAR? Listens to Christian or Rap music? Do you think she's educated? No one can hear your thoughts so be honest with yourself what do you think?Ok now click on Susan Boyle's name below. When you do, think about what you expect when you see her. Do you expect a disaster? Do you expect her voice to sound like an angel? What did you honestly expect to hear? I'm guessing when you see her you will expect to hear the same thing the judges and the entire audience expected. Susan Boyle

Case and point I have to say it again, things are not always what you see with your eyes, if you close your eyes and see beyond what is in front of you, I hope instead of rain you see the biggest, most beautiful rainbow.

Are you Judgemental?

Look at the picture, what do you see? Be honest with yourself, what do you see? Do you see a homeless man?

Have you ever looked at me and thought I was a "certain" type of a person and then actually took the time to get to know me and realized I wasn't at all how you initially "judged" me to be?

The truth is we all have a predetermained viewpoints on things based on our personal life experiences. We are imperfect and it's okay to admit that you judge. What makes judging wrong is when you close your mind and don't allow yourself to see beyond your first impression.

Judging cuts you off from growing. If all you see when you look at a homeless man is dirty clothes, unwashed hair and empty pockets how sad I feel for you. You have closed yourself in seeing what is really there. What is inside, the core, the soul of the man. Look at the picture again what do you see now?Do you see a Disabled Veteran? Do you see a hero? Do you see the pain in his eyes? Do you see an opportunity for you to help another? To make a difference to another person who's life took some unfortunate turns?

How about seeing yourself in his shoes, standing with a sign waiting for someone, anyone to find it in their hearts to help you. What if you were the man, would you not hate looking into passerbyers eyes knowing they were judging you, your life, your decisions, judging your entire life based on that one minute?

In the end at the very end when your standing in front of your God, and that same homeless man is beside you, how will you defend your position that moment you looked in the man's eyes on the street, and refused to help him? Can you? Should you? No! No matter how you slice it the answer is no.

Remember what matters in life, it's not the big house, fancy cars, designer clothes, "perfect" friends, vacations, at that final moment it's not about the has and the has nots, it's about you and what you did or didn't do and that is it.

Are you a friend?

hmm... What is a "true" friend? Someone you call, email or text? Someone you go shopping with or play bingo with? What attributes should a friend possess for you?

For me a friend is someone I can vent to about anything, work, spouse, kids, family, other friends, whatever. If I just want to ramble about nothing a friend to me is the person I think to call.

Some people never initiate contact with me. If I didn't contact them we might never talk again, or it could be years. Is that fair? Are those people really my friends at all? Who knows and really who cares!

Old friends? I have two friends I have had since I can remember. Julie and Nancy. They have been part of my life since I can remember. I can't recall a time in my life when one of them wasn't there.

New friends? Just because someone hasn't been a part of my life since the beginning of time doesn't make them any less important to me. One day these new friends will be "old" friends what would we be without them?

My siblings are my friends. Now they have been in my life the entire time. Which only makes since because I am the baby of the family. DUH! But in the past 10 years or so I have become amazingly close to them. Does that make them old or new friends?
Myspace Graphics
Myspace Graphics, Friendship Thoughts Graphics at

Moral of my story? I just wanted to say thanks to all my "true" friends, you know who you are. And for those of you who never take that moment to tell someone you care about them --well get off your duff because you need them and they probably need you too.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Inspiration? Strength? Courage?

New MySpace 2.0 Layouts

OK, for those of you who know me I am usually a pretty hysterical person. I love to make others laugh. With that said, several of my family members are finding they are so sad and so out of sorts, how does a person get their life back? How does another? How do I help others when I too am in a state of slumber?

One sibling of mine, well she is a controller. She plans and organizes every aspect of her day. Another a clown. She is similar to me in so many ways. The others of us go to her for strength, courage, and advice. One brother is very sensitive and I find myself wondering how he is holding up but don't currently possess the strength to find out. How do I help? Lets not even talk about our nephews and nieces who share this loss. What about them? Just now having kids of their own and yet no grandparents to cuddle, and annoy their kids.

Counseling? never ending emails? Phone conversations? What? How the heck can I help any of them? Help myself? I will help myself by writing my thoughts and feelings. No one has to read it, everyone can read it, regardless I am helping myself, and maybe you. Documenting my good and bad days. How I'm coping and even how I am not.

Are we all struggling so much because she is the mom and there really is nothing like a Mom? Is it because when my father died we still had her to comfort us? Is it because without parents who becomes the center of our gravity?

What gets me up everyday? Knowing that someday I hope to see them again. That neither of them are suffering. That they raised me to be strong and remember the good. Remembering that regardless how bad life is on a particular day it could always always be so much worse. Remembering that they lived their lives to the fullest and now it's my turn your turn. Our turn to change a life, raise lives, and do the best we can and hope that when our shell is gone the mold we leave lives on.

So to you controller, you the clown and everyone else live your life with no regrets. Stand up (after you finish reading my blog of course) and say I am the engine that could, I am strong I will persevere, I will prosper, I will be the best I can be. Raise our kids to love as ours taught us, love your spouse like there is no tomorrow. Most importantly find God, trust him, know him, and have faith in him!

Show me and the world that you are a Birch through and through!

Do What Makes You Happy
Grab a Graphic from

Whose my American Idol?

Well Adam Lambert hands down, he is in a league of his own. Haven't you been watching? Okay I don't care what you think, American Idol is the shiznits.

The best all time night of AI??? MICHAEL JACKSON night, DUH!! The best that night would have to be Matt Girard singing "Human Nature"! Flaming HOT performance!

Monday, April 13, 2009

Then there were eight......

Janna - Banna


Sue - "What not to wear???" LOL I Love ya Girl




Liz - Little Bit


8 kids, 8 family's held together by the strength of our parents who through it all taught us to love each other. Sitting in Oregon we would laugh and cry and tell stories. Jesse James locked in the laundry room? Was that really an accident??? Remember this one?? "GOODNIGHT TRISH"; How about, "Mom their hitting me??" Or how about Johnnie's yearbook, I cut all the hot guys out of when I was young. How was I supposed to know there were over 30 consecutive pages gone. There must have been a lot of hot guys in that school.

We can all rewind the month of January as many times as we want and when we do we will remember stories, laughing, lysol, family meetings, camo jackets, snow, and many tears. We all have our moment of my mom, your mom, grandma, sister, etc and we will all hold onto those memories till our last breath, they are ours to hold, share, and cherish. Regardless of what/how we deal with the huge loss of her it will not change the facts. They are that we all loved her - we will all miss her - she loved us all - and all we have is photos, memories and most importantly EACH OTHER!! Through our ups and downs, we must all remember that mom would want us to be the best wife, husband, friend, sister, brother we can be and share her values with everyone we love. That is how her legacy lives on.

I remember every moment, ever card, every laugh and tear and I remember the very feeling I felt when the following photo was snapped. Seeing it reminds me of the pain I feel but I must remind myself that photo is a piece of my past and behind that and in front of that memory there are happy ones I have of my beautiful mother!

The Good Old Days.......

How it all began...

It all started with the love of the most beautiful bride and a hunk of a groom - my parents. Henry Lee Roy Birch and Jeanette Sue Carpenter * August 22, 1952.